Meet daddy in my dream

I woke up early to send my sis to school, came home after that and continue my sleep.

I have 2 dreams after that...the 1st dream not important, i'm going to talk about my second dream.

As far as I can remember, it started with me being frustrated at my mom keep on asking me to take stuff for her. So me grumpily walk into my house to get the thing and are in really angry mood. When I step out of the front door, there I saw my late father smiling at me, wearing his very familiar blue long sleeve shirt. I scream in delight as if my dad has been away for travelling for so long and now coming back (in a way he is away). I ran to him and hug him so tight and crying...and that is when I woke up...I wanted to continue the sleep, I wanted to talk to him....I miss him so much....I'm happy to see that he's smiling. But I really miss him.

My auntie involve in crystal healing so she can communicate with spirit. My dad's spirit met her a few times already and the 1st time he approached her, he told her to tell us that he left earlier cos he wanted us to have the freedom to choose our career cos he has been very strict towards our education and life and it is for our own good. I feel like crying when my mom told me this. I was glad that he trained us that way, that is how I grow into who I am today. Even tho he's gone, but I always wish that I could meet him and talk to him cos I really miss him. He didn't get to see any of his children graduating. He didn't even get to send me to uni cos that is the year when he started to fall ill. Cancer took his life away and I pray that he's in the good hand of God in heaven now. Miss him so much...

Funeral Service in the church

I do not have digital photo of him cos I do not own a camera before he gets ill. So most of his pic is in photo album.

Demotivated make up artist

I do not know what is wrong with my skill recently but I am so not satisfied with my make up work. It just doesn't turn out to be the look that I picture in my head. and what is wrong with the foundation? It looks powdery. I want a dewy looks. SO frustrated!

Just came back from testing make up on my client for her engagement in Dec. As usual, I am not satisfied. :(..

I wil get more volunteered head to practise my hairstyle technique. This is bad!

my comment: hate the lashes, hate the blusher, hate the foundation, hate the eye color (cos i wanted it to look smokey but how come the color lighten?)..but i love the brow and lips color.

Movie movie movie

From the day I 'fall apart', I've been visiting the movie more than often. I've watch 6 movies so far, in a month which is abnormal for me cos normally, it's like once a month.

These are the movies I watched:

Final destination
Date: 3sep
Venue: Star Cineplex
Who I watch with: My sis, Catherine.

Comment: Is horrifying as expected but I love the double 'final destination' in the movie in which the guy for can vision what is happening saw the vision again for the shopping mall disaster. Nice2...but I think it is more interesting to watch in 3D.


The Proposal
Date:9sep
Venue: MBO cineplex
Who I watch with: My friend, Cynthia, and my sister, Catherine.

Comment: Is predictable but I love the place where the guy is staying. I can't rmbr the name of the main character, both the male n female. Huhuhu...I love his room...i love the view from his room. I love his funny granny. Hehehe...naughty2...especially the baby-making blanket. Hahaha...I don think u need blanket when u r 'making baby'. hahaha..I love sandra's high heels! ;)


Where got ghost?
Date: 14sep
Venue: Star Cineplex
Who I watch with: My friend, Cynthia, and my sister, Catherine.

Comment: I've mentioned about this movie in my last post. It was 3 short stories in one movie. The story is laughable is u understand hokkien cos the way they speak, the words and all that sound funny to you cos u feel like u r watching ur friends talking. Not too formal acting. Very spontaneous.


The Ugly Truth
Date: 16sep
Venue: MBO cineplex
Who I watch with: My cousins, Grace & Tayan, and my sister, Catherine.

Comment: I love!!!! Right after the movie end, I only have one thing in my head. I wana ride on hot air balloon!! Izit available in Malaysia?? Anyway this movie has lots of sensored part which I think kids might not understand. Hahaha...Even if they mention 18sx, 18PL, etc...people don care...I think parents should care about his cos there's something call the 'media violent'...bad for kids.

Tsunami
Date: 19sep
Venue: MBO cineplex
Who I watch with: My dear, Anthony.

Comment: Touching!! It remind us to say "I love you" to those u love and do not wait till tomorrow cos u never know what if tomorrow never come. The tsunami is scary. The part where the people died is sad...really touches my heart...I cried at the scene where the professor and his wife and daughter on top of the building.


A Perfect Gateaway
Date: 20sep
Venue: MBO cineplex
Who I watch with: My dear Anthony and his friend, Wani & Meo.

Comment: Twisted ending but kinda expected cos I'm pretty sure the story will try to make as if the killer is a certain people but for sure at the end, the killer will be (konon2 nya), unexpected character.

Sand art? Sand coloring?

I dono what do u call it but everytime I went to tHe Spring, I always see kids playing this sand coloring thingy...So one day, dah boring2 jalan2 at tHe Spring, I duduk lah lepak tgk budak2 main pasir dari tgkt atas. Terasa pula nak main....


So the day I went out for movie with my sis and cousins, I manage to persuade my sis to join me to play that thing. Tell u what, we manage to attract some other adults to play too! Guess they wanted to play but are too shy...hehehe...

sugar or sand?

my sis with her spongebob

creating the outline using black sand

yeah! working hard huh..hehehe

my sis's

I'm done! I get ballon and lollipop! ;)

BE HAPPY!

BEP Meet & Greet Pass

I receive sms from Digi saying that I won a Black Eyed Peas TShirt and Meet & Greet Pass. When I received the sms, I thought it is just an sms from Digi to promote the coming BEP concert so I did not bother to read it till the bottom. Then again I feel weird, why does the sms "Congrats" me? So I read again and is not convinced yet, check their website and there it is! The small notice down there stated that the winner will be notified through sms. So I've won! I was puzzled at 1st cos I did not join any contest, but actually those who join Digi Music get a chance to win. and I won!!


then again.....I received the sms on 17sep and the tshirt and pass have to be collected at Universal Music at Petaling Jaya the next day. I thought of asking my sis in KL to take it for me but my friend (who won it too) said we have to flash the sms when collecting the thing.


By that time, I was too excited to think rationally. I wanted to go badly...My sis teman me go to airport to check for air ticket for tomorrow 1st flight to KL and come back on the same day for my friend's bday party at night. Ticket to KL is available but it is RM508! In my heart, I'm still willing to pay for it, but then again...luckily no more flights coming back to Kuching. Full. Fuh.....Luckily....


But of cos I'm quite disappointed...I wanted to go...:(...It is so not fair for winner from east malaysia...why don't they just mail it to us..:(..


I was having buffet dinner with my sis at Merdeka Palace when my mind was really bothered by this matter than I ate only 1 plate of rice. It is so not worth the RM50 meal..huhuhu...

1st thing I took, the desert.

my one and only serving
Nasi minyak, plain rice, fried vermicelle, chicken satey, beef satey, Belacan Midin, lemon chicken.

Air Selasih, Soya, Air Tebu, & Air Bandung

I guess not many of you know I do play a bit of guitar. Knew a few of the basic chords. But I'm so shy cos I never improve myself since form 4 when I 1st played guitar. Hehehe...I do improve in the sense that now when I play, at least it sounds like a song..not just a sound...hahaha...I find it really2 hard for me to learn '4-fingers' chord...Maybe I'm just too comfortable with playing using 3 fingers only..one more thing, I still try my best to sing while play the guitar, I owes end up spoil the song or the music...huhuhu...

I'm feeling GOOD!

Hey hey! The real carol is back! All lively and lovely and sunny and chearful! ;)..I've open up my heart to embrace my prob and finally I'm able to come up with a solution. So far, that is the best I could think of. Anyway, now that I'm all back...I play around with my funny face gifts. Was out for a movie, and the 1st thing my sis said is "Carol's spirit is back!". hahaha...that is because i started to apply my eyeliner, mascara and I'm putting on my high heel again. ;)...Looks like my sis just understand me...she knew it when I'm back.


We watch 'Where got ghost?', a Singaporean comedy movie. Well, since it stated on the poster "laugh til u scared, scared till u laugh", so I expect something funny. The story is a combination of 3 short stories. It was funny if u understand Hokkien and another thing that really2 break my happy mood is the guy who are sitting beside me.

Man I tell you! His mouth stink!! I mean really stink! It would be ok if he could just keep his mouth shut but he 'comment' unnecessarily, laugh and yell so loud that everyone turn. I just wish I could strangle him. I know it's funny and u pay for the ticket, but we pay for the ticket too and we do not need a commentator when we can read it on our own. We do not need u to read out loud whatever is being displayed on the screen. U are not watching for your 2 years old cousins ok! Not only me who are sitting beside him is annoyed but the whole theatre cos once the light is on, everyone turn to him, wana see how does he looks like. If I'm his friends, I swear I will never bring him to movie again. Sangat annoying and sangat memalukan. The worst part is his mulut really bau lah...feel like throwing out ow...I'm trying so hard to breath through my shawl still I can smell it. Yikes!

Anyway, we watch at Stars Cineplex cos MBO is just too pack! Not MBO but the parking. Stars is still pack with people tho. ;)

The winning face! ;) lol

it sure makes me laugh!

Wat I have on: Silky Girl eyeliner, CoverGirl mascara, Bourjois Lipstick "Trendy Rouge", Estee Lauder Pleasure "Intense" perfume, In2It eyebrow pencil, Revlon smoothing primer cream. I don like wearing foundation for basic make up, and trying the eyelash curler. I don't normally curl my lash cos I'm blessed with naturally curl lash. ;)

Girls! Do not hate choco cos choco makes u happy. I just had mine. ;)..Kinder Bueno..;)

cute2 chi hua hua dog!

My friend who just do not understand why do i owes wana snap photo anywhere I go...hehe

I have a confession to make. Ngee...this is my 1st time putting on red lippie in my life! I just tot I don't look good with red lippie but because I just feel too good about myself today, so I think I look good in it. ;)...the red is just right.

APril won!

I've mentioned about April being the finalist for Breeze model search. SHe won! I knew she would. She stand out among the other finalist. She just shine among them! Congratez dear!

It's here!!!

My cutey lovely gifts for Funny face competition! They are safely here! It's like a total positive boost into my negative self..so happy that they arrive at the right time. :) I just realise the eyelash curler was not in the list, so izit a bonus? ;)

I look pale cos I have not been eating well.
Anyway i have the Bourjois Lipstick "Trendy Rouge" on.

Nice pouch

Nice pouch

Kit nailpolish...just the shade I've been looking for..;)

Kit lipgloss..i love the design of the box.

Bourjois Lipstick "Trendy Rouge"
(just the right red color that my sis is looking for)

Lancome eyelash curler and Juicy Tube

Mini bottle of Manifique by Lancome...this is so cute!

Covergirl Outlast Lipcolour in "Berry Sorbet" that come with it's topcop..:)

This is a really big tube of BB cream I've saw so far..
Missha Perfect Cover BB Cream #21

M.A.C pigment which I can't get it here in Kuching.
(Gold Mode, Clear Sky Blue & French Violet)

Lovely handmade earrings and hairclips, one clip on my hair..:)..

Rimmel Black Kajal Eye Liner

Covergirl Lashblast Mascara

Tq Shelly. ;)

Thank you

Friends and family who cares for me...thank u so much for being so concern over my condition...Everyone told me to be strong...I am trying too...I just fall again this afternoon crying while I'm driving...it was painful and I reach home safely but with throbbing headache. I do not know what people around me talks about my condition...maybe they think I'm just being drown into my own negative emotion but I am trying to stay strong here. It ain't easy...it's exhausting...

I wish my sunshine, aka the cheekiez, the whole group is here around me...wishes they can accompany me for one whole week...but anyway, tq so much for ur concern even over the hills and mountains of sabah and sarawak...whenever u are cheekiez..take care too k...

I will try my best to eat...but this is not easy too...i doesn't like food anymore, not as much as i used to...Food make me sick..


Gosh...this is horrible...stand up Carol!

I'm back...almost...

Secara mental nya, i was not ok..bukan nya aku gila kah apa...just that recently things has turn really2 bad for me...i was like a zombie...mcm bangkai bernyawa...imagine a few days straight aku x makan....minum aie kosong jak....bkn sengaja mok diet ka apa...p d sbb kan risau gilak masalah aku ya, i feel like something squeezing my stomach whenever I see food...dolok bkn main gik makan, pantang x makan...tok shari2 i can survive on plain water and 1 small bun...


I feel like a baby yg baru belajar berjalan...i try to stand up but keep on falling down...tiap kali ku jatuh, the pain bcm more intense...


some ppl who are not in my situation mesti pkr pahal lah emo gilak miak tok...but i tell u once upon a time, pabila org lain melalui apa yg aku lalui, dlm hati ku, aie..kuat kan semangat bah....jgn gago gilak hal tok, u have to move on...now oni i realise cakap memang senang..once u r in the situation, sakit nya unbearable...rasa mcm mati gik bagus...p don worry...commit suiside x main k...takut Tuhan ow...


So pass few days...i try to be strong...i pray rosary day and night..i need peace in my heart and strenght to live my life...but everytime I tot I'm ok, by night time or the next day, I fall again...sakit...sangat sakit...if physical pain, i can put oilment, but sakit hati...mok sapu apa?


I try to stay away from laptop and FB as best as i could. So far 3 days off from FB so far, but today I online cos I need to check on something.


I've made a stupid mistakes and I sincerely ask for apology from them, but non reply me...I was hurt in the 1st hand but then again I was the one who apologize cos in a way, i made mistake but why do I can't be forgiven? sedangkan I humble myself...asking for apology...


I feel so lifeless and I've lost weight in this few days...i dono how much exactly but one thing for sure, i lost weight. Imagine I can slip out from my fitted jeans without unzipping it. My shortpant is loose at the butt area (not good! My beloved butt shrinking?!!), my belly is flatten which is quite a happy thing for me...everyone around me are quite concern about me, my family and friends...never seen me falling so hard like this. I was unimaginably devastated and are dead.


Last night I feel much better. I'm able to dream which mean I can sleep for more than 2 hours without waking up in the middle of my sleep...last few days, I woken up every 2 hours...I feel terrible...Even tho I dream, but the worst part is the dream remind me of my prob....bad...it makes me fall again....

I try to be strong....I now totally depend on God for strength and peacefulness...

I still can't eat a lot but slowly...I try to eat something...Today I manage to finish 1 cup of nestume for breakfast (an improvement cos I owes skip bfast last few days) but a few fishballs for lunch...I can't swallow anymore...I feel like throwing out...

My 14 years old sis is concern..she voice her concern yesterday asking why did I eat so little cos I use to eat a lot...all I can tell is I dono...I feel like throwing out when I see food...even food reminds me of my prob...


My fren told me my prob is not a prob but is a challenge for me to grow up...I try my best to survive, be strong...I will but for the time being...i will not push myself too hard or i will end up in Kota Sentosa hospital..not cool..

more updates on my make up corner

my sis helping me to put the eye palettes in place

stocks are in place d...:)