Back 2 work

Engine on, ready, get set go...poot poot...y on earth is this engine running so slow..hmmm!

Tats how i feel when I went backto work. I only worked for 2 days, n off on Good Friday, until Easter Monday. Tuesday, drive to KK for induction course for 3 days, then mc on friday, go back kch for further check up.

I only work for 2days in 2 weeks! No wonder the engine is still damn slow.

But my weeks r full of emotional issue. I can apply ointment on the wound that can be seen, but how bout emotional wound? I hate to go through this again n again. I'm working d and I can't bare to face this emotional situation. It will shows in my work performance.

Insecurities r poisonous. They kill u from within without u realizing it. Leaving u like a zombie. Living ur life emotionless, aimless...I x wana go tru dis again. I pray to God for strength n love.

I see the doc, she told something that concern me. I lost my right, n I x wana lost my left 2. I would rather die, 2 b honest. I wish i cud quickly zoom through this hard moment. it's like going through the lowest part of the wheel of life. I wana quickly roll back to the top. I wana b happy again. I wana b strong again. That's all i'm asking for, strength, to find the happiness, n to develop the love I have.

Loving someone so much but not getting the love in return is like Jesus loving us but we nailed Him on the cross. I wish and pray to have that little strength that He has for me to go through this.

She look into the mirror,

wondering what she did wrong,

that she deserved all this.

That eyes staring with sorrowfulness,

begging for some love.

She may be laughing

and smiling,

but only she knew

how painful her heart is.

She hide her pain,

she tried to,

but it's not easy,

cos she's losing the strength,

to fight.

~ex fighter~

Yes..some stone might hit me, but Jesus is doing His best to protect me.

Cynthia's Wedding

Let me introduce, my teman gila! Miss Cynthia! Oh, that was sooooo yesterday, she is Mrs. John now. Hehehe..My crazy partner, whom I usually call her, Tia, is a friend I met at LMC (Labuan Matriculation College). She's officially Mrs.John on 22Feb 2011. Church ceremony was on 5Feb, and I was one of the FLOWER GIRL. Hahaha...Me n my sis can't help but laugh at ourselves for being the oldest flower girls ever. Her wedding reception was on 12Feb, n me being self-declared PA, personal assistant, was super nervous.

Here's the bridegroom with the 2 flower ladies

Bridegroom anxiously checking his phone 2 make sure that his wife is not running away. LOL

Which 1 has that flower girl looks? Me or her (Abell)??

She's actually is the ring bearer

Mr. & Mrs. John Digon

This is my dearest Mdm. Cynthia Philip Kesaw @ Mrs.John

More photos will be uploaded in my FB. Actually a lot have been uploaded by my sis. That's y I didn't bother to do it but considering some of our friends might not be able to view those photos. So here I am, taking advantage of this super internet speed (as compare to in Lawas), I'll do my best to upload it. :) Next, lets go to to the reception.

That's me! Dashing into the couple's room to discuss reception matter with the bride. Feels like a wedding planner lah pulak.

Look, how serious I am. Hehehe..I was nervous u know! My heart jumping so fast that I don't walk, most of the time I run. Due to the adrenalin rush.

She loves baby blue color. Luckily it was so hard for us to find baby blue dress, so she said it's ok, we can just wear any blue dress. Hehehe

Waiting for signal to go down to the dining hall

Putting on the slide show and hope for zero technical prob.

I regret ordering this cake at Taka next to eastmoore. This was a gift for me to her but it turn out really bad! Regret it for my whole life and I will never ever again going to that Taka anymore.

There were late! N they did not inform me when they arrived. So I was wondering why on earth they have not arrive. It should arrive at 5.30pm, but they came around 6.30pm. The hotel staff keep on asking where is the cakes, I was panic! Luckily it's there by the time I went to the dining hall. But seeing this damages on the cake (which did not done fully according to my order), I swear there and then that I will never ever ever ever again going to EastMoore Taka bakery!!

Cake cutting ceremony. The cake was wobbly! I was so so so scared that the cakes will collapse even b4 they manage to cut it. I guess u can imagine how panicky I was that night throughout the reception.

Let it flow, and may the blessing from God flow endlessly for this newly wed. :)

'Mejeng' time! Lets hit the dance floor!

Touch up make up for next activity. Hehehe..

That's all folks! Yippeeee!

Untalented but Trying 2 B 1

I was staring at my blank new post for quite awhile when some1 call me. I told him what I was doing. He said: "yeah, tats hpn 2 ppl who blog, sm ppl r x gud in putg their thoughts in writing, bla bla bla...". It stab me straight to the heart! Like I said b4, I'm a super sensitive person.

Anyway, I may not be good at finding the words to describe my thoughts, or using some bombastic words just to make it looks more interesting, but tell me, in which part of the blogging world mentioned that only those who are super good in writing can blog??

I have this blog not to be an English teacher, teaching English, nor am I a poet, who use beautiful words 2 create poem, nor am I a story teller, who writes stories to entertain others. But this is my blog, I choose what I wana post, how it was present, how do I write, what kind of languages I used. So what? Just because I'm not those that u may categorizes as 'talented blogger', then I should not have a blog?

I'm not good in accepting criticism, that is my weakness. Sometime I can, sometime I will took it too personally that I will feel hurt, and most of the time, it is the 2nd one. My bad? U think so? So? Hmm...whatever!

What do u think Mr.Pink Panther? I'm not talented meh?